I think I am going to make this my "personal thoughts" blog and just update everyone every-so often on the happenings of my family...

Life in the Valley is becoming a lot more comfortable. Though I miss the green and the rain, the atmosphere here has a quiet serenity that cannot be found in other places. My daily routine has transformed into a much more laid back attitude. I get up with Autumn, let Lilly out, feed them both, then spend the rest of the day talking with my amazing grandma and playing with my beautiful little girl. I am so low-key that it is driving me insane. I feel like I need to get out and go somewhere all the time. I need friends, I need people who want to do things. My husband comes home tired from work, only to find an anxious wife ready to go hiking. I fear for his sanity, almost as much as I fear for my own.

As I mentioned above, I need friends, and I do believe that Charlie and I have found some for the first time since time in forever. They are a lot like us and are very easy to talk with. I am hopeful :) I just pray that they found us likable as well...

I have come up with an idea that may solve part of my dilemma. I need a night job. Something to get me out of the house. I have applied for a few, and only a bakery has gotten back with me. Hmm... I would be baking from midnight to 7 a.m. every morning... It sounds sort of adventurous, yet has a hint of "blah" to it... I miss my animal rescue... I was rescuing a dog every two weeks. Oh well, sacrifice for the better good. Above all I want what is best for my family... and that probably requires a Mom that is always home and ready to love, care and protect, even if it means she is bored out of her mind.

Maybe I will hire a babysitter for one night a week...

Ohh so many Ideas, yet none seem to come through in the end.

Where is Charlie? I need a back massage...

Arizona

Updates:
I have slacked off on this "blogging" business. We have just been so busy getting everything settled. I am overjoyed to be here, it is so much nicer and comforting than Springfield MO. We are at my grandparents house for a time, until we can get school and everything figured. I love being with my grandma and grandpa, I feel like I am finally catching up on time lost from my life with them. Charlie really loves it here. He likes the mountains and the off-roading adventures :). We went exploring in Payson this past weekend, it was awesome, we just kept taking random dirt roads in the middle of the desert. Autumn is busy teething... it is TERRIBLE! I feel so bad about having such a cranky baby in the house... I am quickly trying to find a way to settle her down. I miss my family (specifically my mom :( ...) but I am still having a good time. Charlie has a new job. He started today... He rode his bike about 20 miles to work today, and plans on riding home too. I hope he isn't over doing it and has enough water... my poor red-head husband...

New Information I have learned:
NEVER see the new Mummy movie. TERR-I-B-B-BLE , that is, unless you go with people that want to just make fun of it...

My goals for today:
-Get my child to stop screaming all the time.
-Organize our little room
-Finish unpacking
-Plan Charlie's Birthday

My goals for the week:
-Make friends
-Gain better self-esteem
-Make the largest cupcake the world has ever seen

I will keep everyone updated on how my goals go...

New home for Dog

I just wanted to let everyone know that I found a home for the little dog :) I have a good feeling she will be very happy there.
Whew, that is a relief!

my heart is so confused, :(

I have found myself in a very emotional rut...
As some of you know, I have been doing a small-scale animal rescue for the past year. I was rescuing about one animal a month and finding good homes for them after I had cleaned them up. I have had dogs, cats, squirrels, birds... anything and everything. I gave them a bath a lot of love, hoping to fix their hearts and find forever homes for them. It has been so rewarding, but recently it has become extremely difficult. About 2 months ago a tiny little girl came wondering into my life. She was a shaky, soft-eyed little puppy that someone had dumped on the side of the road. I called her my "lil' bit". She was a little 7lb poolky (silky terrier/poodle) that stuck to me like glue from the day I got her. Lilly (my pug) and her got along amazingly, I would think that they were long lost sisters or something. Well, to make a long story short, I had fallen in deep love with my little friend. I had never let myself get so close to a dog (besides Lilly) before... I don't even know how it happend. Well, when we decided to move to AZ I knew I had to make a lot of sacrifices. From selling most -all of my possessions to finding homes for half of my family. We found a home for our guard-dog, a wonderful family with 40 acres. All that was left was Lilly and lil'bit. I loved them both so much, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to put 2 little dogs on my grandparents, I just couldn't do that to them... we are already going to be intruding enough on them. So, I had to find a home for my little love. I met a girl that was really nice and had two kids, she fell in love with lil'bit. Through teary eyes and a very sad heart I handed the little girl to what I thought would be a loving forever home. That is where I left off last weekend. Now I sit here with sad news in my heart. I just found out that the forever home is an abusive home. The girl came to me today asking me to take my little friend back because, "she runs and hides from my kids. They have fed her everything they can get their hands on and now she isn't moving much... I think she is sick." She went on to tell me that her kids pull at her and shove her around...
She finished her reason with how she has had to keep her in a little kennel all day to keep her from the kids. I can't express my sadness and worry. I immediately told her I would take the dog back. I can't go get her till the morning and I am so worried.
So, here I am. I don't know what to do. I have searched for this dog a good home for over a month now and it seems like the only loving home she has in the world is my family. I do love her and I would give anything to keep her! Gahh! I don't know what to do. My heart is torn, I need advice!

On a happier note, we are one more day closer to AZ.

So so sorry!

I want to apologize. I made a REALLY big error in my last blog :(... We are not leaving in June, I meant to say July, but for some reason I was thinking that we are still in May this month...
Anyways, I think my brain completely deteriorated during pregnancy...

Sorry everyone. These are the true dates:

Leave MO - July 27th

Arrive in AZ - July 29th

Gosh, I am such a goober.

Wait, Wait, Wait...

I think I am starting to really like this "blogging" buisness. It is actually quite addicting... I just need to get down how to do all the creative stuff with my page...

There have been some changes to our plan. Charlie and I are now leaving Missouri on the 27th of June. Things have worked out so that everything will be done by then and there really isn't anything to wait for. So just to let everyone know (I don't even know if anyone reads this...) We should be there no later than the 29th of June.

I am starting to get sad about leaving my family. I will miss my mom incredibly, it is hard to think about right now. I don't want to raise my kids the way I was raised and never be able to see their grandparents or cousins. I don't want them to feel the way I did growing up so far away. I remember always feeling left out as a kid, when all I could do is look at pictures or hear over the phone about all of my family spending time together. It made me feel pretty alone at times. My feelings have changed since I have grown and have started my own family. I know now that though my family was 2,000 miles away, they still loved me and I still loved them, and that is what mattered. All in all, it was hard. It has taught me good lessons as well... I now know that it is of utmost importance that my children have as much time as they can with their family... They need to know their grandparents and greatgrandparents well so that they will love and respect them the way that I love my grandparents. Two of the most important people in my life are my grandma and grandpa Auwen. I cannnot find the words in my heart to express how much I adore and love them. It has been so hard for me to be so far away! I can't wait till I am close enough to be able to hug them both everyday. They are such amazing people, I love them so much. I know that my children will as well. 4 weeks exactly till we leave, I think I might go insane waiting. The only thing that will keep me patient is the thought that when I get there I can give grandma and grandpa a huge hug.

First Steps Done!

Well here we go! It Has Begun.

Our Lease ends July 31st...
We budgeted the trip...
Charlie put in his transfer notice and starts in Tempe on the 11th of August...
We got a NEW CAR!! :D

It is all going down folks, I am so excited... and stressed.

We traded in our "crap van" for a 2000 Mitsubishi Montero. SO cool. I love it, I feel like I am on a safari every time I drive it.
Charlie couldn't be more happy about transferring. He will be going to a better facility and better pay. No complaints here!

The only things left to do are to pack, sell (everything besides autumns stuff and our clothes), and say goodbye. I feel down about leaving my family and friends, but it is for the best. I can feel the sun on my face already.
We are almost home.

Getting Started... Again.

The times have called for change so I have decided to start keeping track of our adventures and help let family and friends know what thrilling feats the Zahn's have conquered. So, welcome to the "Blog" of us, please make yourself a nice plate of cookies and some milk as that will help you have the warm sense of well-being that I hope comes from this.

Since Charlie and I got married our lives have changed drastically many, MANY times. We have moved 5 times, had about 8 different jobs, started and stopped school 3 times and have had way way too many different rescue animals to count. That has all happened in a year and 3 months. I think we are ready for a little stability for a change.

So here is our new beginning! We are selling 99% all of our possessions, getting a new car, and driving ourselves 2,000 miles away from what we have known so far. By the end of July we will be in Arizona starting fresh, raising our daughter and going to school (again) It will be a rough start, but so was our first start. Things just haven't been working out right, nothing has been meshing... so a change of scenery will do us good. Lets just hope my little red-headed family survives the sun :)

I am excited to make up for some time lost with family in the great AZ. As I am a natural Arizonian I hope to breath in the familiar air and smile because I am not choking on the familiar humidity that has clogged my brain for so long. Missouri, I will miss your green... but I am oh so ready for this.