Saturday, June 28, 2008

my heart is so confused, :(

I have found myself in a very emotional rut...
As some of you know, I have been doing a small-scale animal rescue for the past year. I was rescuing about one animal a month and finding good homes for them after I had cleaned them up. I have had dogs, cats, squirrels, birds... anything and everything. I gave them a bath a lot of love, hoping to fix their hearts and find forever homes for them. It has been so rewarding, but recently it has become extremely difficult. About 2 months ago a tiny little girl came wondering into my life. She was a shaky, soft-eyed little puppy that someone had dumped on the side of the road. I called her my "lil' bit". She was a little 7lb poolky (silky terrier/poodle) that stuck to me like glue from the day I got her. Lilly (my pug) and her got along amazingly, I would think that they were long lost sisters or something. Well, to make a long story short, I had fallen in deep love with my little friend. I had never let myself get so close to a dog (besides Lilly) before... I don't even know how it happend. Well, when we decided to move to AZ I knew I had to make a lot of sacrifices. From selling most -all of my possessions to finding homes for half of my family. We found a home for our guard-dog, a wonderful family with 40 acres. All that was left was Lilly and lil'bit. I loved them both so much, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to put 2 little dogs on my grandparents, I just couldn't do that to them... we are already going to be intruding enough on them. So, I had to find a home for my little love. I met a girl that was really nice and had two kids, she fell in love with lil'bit. Through teary eyes and a very sad heart I handed the little girl to what I thought would be a loving forever home. That is where I left off last weekend. Now I sit here with sad news in my heart. I just found out that the forever home is an abusive home. The girl came to me today asking me to take my little friend back because, "she runs and hides from my kids. They have fed her everything they can get their hands on and now she isn't moving much... I think she is sick." She went on to tell me that her kids pull at her and shove her around...
She finished her reason with how she has had to keep her in a little kennel all day to keep her from the kids. I can't express my sadness and worry. I immediately told her I would take the dog back. I can't go get her till the morning and I am so worried.
So, here I am. I don't know what to do. I have searched for this dog a good home for over a month now and it seems like the only loving home she has in the world is my family. I do love her and I would give anything to keep her! Gahh! I don't know what to do. My heart is torn, I need advice!

On a happier note, we are one more day closer to AZ.

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