Wednesday, August 26, 2009

7 weeks and counting...

Since when does time fly by fast when you are pregnant??

I am starting to get really nervous about the coming of my little boy... Most everything is NOT done and ready for him and I only have about a month and a half until he could be here. I have a mobile to make, a swing to recover and paint, a changing table to restore and paint, a quilt to make, and on top of that I have a toddler that needs attention as well. Can I add about 3 months to this pregnancy thing? It is so strange to feel rushed about a baby coming, with Autumn I was ready to get her here as soon as I hit 6 months. Crazy.

Friday, August 21, 2009

new post

90 days.

Beautiful weather.

I will have trouble making a better jack-o-lantern than last year.

I wish I could snap my fingers and make Autumn's teeth stop hurting.

My feet are swollen.

I miss having friends.

My thoughts are working overtime today.

Friday, August 14, 2009


There is only so much a person can do to help others in certain situations. You know the feeling? Helplessness? Looking at what is going on and knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do? I have stepped into one of those. It is such a gross feeling. Someone I care a ton about has put themselves into quite the predicament. Now, depressed and feeling alone they feel that they have to keep treading on into this crazy problem... Even though they don't have to. In fact, they can take the chance to turn their life around and start on a fresh path. But, there are so many factors and the top one being that they don't want to quit again. Yet, in my opinion, some things are worth quitting. I guess you could compare it to smoking... SO, what can I do?

Complain to my husband about it. That is really all that can be done.

This post is pointless. I just needed a place to rant I guess...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


There is so much on my mind this fine morning that I can't really figure out where to start...

I don't know if it has been the pregnancy hormones or even just the heat that has had me in a sour mood the past couple of days. I have been on this, "poor, pitiful me" kick. It has put me into such a disgusting state of mind that I haven't been able to find happiness in much of anything. Most of the time I found myself being jealous or sad because of things that I don't or didn't get to have in my life. I thought about not having a wedding or a dress... or the fact that my ring was the cheapest thing we could find that wasn't made of plastic. I got stuck on thinking about not being able to decorate my nursery with beautiful furniture, or pick out clothes for my little girl from the store. I thought about clothes and how I haven't been shopping since I was in high school or how much I would love to be able to go on a date with my husband that didn't involve scrimping and saving to get 75 cent legs from Buffalo Wild Wings... All of these thoughts, these materialistic, selfish, disgusting thoughts were swimming around in my head making me a very materialistic, selfish and disgusting person. Not only did it effect me, it effected my family as well.
Well, to put it as blunt as I can, I will never let myself slip into a rut like this again. I truly do enjoy my life and I have no excuse for the way I have been lately. True, my family and I make sacrifices, but in many ways those sacrifices have made my life more beautiful and rewarding than it ever could have been.
I get to be a stay at home mom because we don't spend our money frivolously on things that we don't need. We don't spend money on the movies, going out to eat, or having TV... Instead we go hiking and camping spending time together outdoors. Things that people have made necessities turn out to be almost burdensome objects that turn people against the simple things in life and in my opinion I am lucky to not have to deal with that. I make a lot Autumn dresses and I was able to make my house a home without spending any money on store bought decor. I am proud of myself and my life.
True, I could have gone into debt on a wedding and a dress. I could have picked out a ring with a nice rock on it for all to see... But where would that have got me? It would have given me a story about the day I spent too much money to show off to a bunch of people that I don't even really know. To me, my husband and being sealed together was the important part and that makes me feel more beautiful than anyone ever could feel standing in a big white dress.
My clothes smell like the wind because I wash and dry them outside. My house is peaceful because instead of a TV blaring I can hear my little girl singing. I don't need my husband to take me out for me to feel important... sitting on the front porch swing at night is enough. I am blessed. Even with all the money in the world, my life couldn't be more rich.