Friday, February 19, 2010

the truth

okay, so I really exaggerated a little bit ago about my baking/cooking skills.  I am really not  very good at all, but I was trying to pump myself up to get myself going on something that might help my family out a little bit. I am still going to try to start making cupcakes, but I need a lot of work before then.

I am having troubles with some parts of my life right now...

Here is my day:

7:00 wake up and feed liam
8:00 Autumn wakes up and eats breakfast
10:00 Autumn takes bath
12:00 Autumn has lunch
1:00 Autumn takes nap
1:00-3:00 clean house
5:00 make dinner
6:00 eat dinner
8:00 Autumn goes to bed
9:00 I start getting ready for bed

This isn't just my schedule, these are the HIGHLIGHTS of my day.  Everyday the same thing.  I am starting to get really warn out.  I have been trying to do things extra like make up things to bake and cook, sew, knit... I am even teaching myself to play the banjo.  This is all fun and dandy, until I realize that I still have the same problem- I am always alone.  I have tried reaching out to people and it just doesn't seem to work, sad day.

I have thought a lot about having game nights, or baking days, or just plain making dinner and inviting people over, but who would come? I love being a mom and wife, I just didn't know it was going to be this lonesome.
Sorry for the sob story, hopefully tomorrow feels better. 


Scott and Jenna said...

Oh Sara. I feel so similar. I keep thinking SOMEDAY I will have time to learn to sew better, cook more, read good books, improve my photography and my business, oh and not to mention spend time with Eva, play more, get out more, you get the picture. Lately I just keep feeling nervous that this day I've been hoping for will never come. Somehow my life gets filled with the pesky little things, and I end up having no time for what I want to be doing. Lame. I wish you were here so we could commiserate together :(

Charlie said...

That doesn't sound very simply happy.:( But then no one in their right mind would expect another person to be happy all the time. I heard a cool quote that went something like this, "Life is full of problems and filled with ifs and buts and the people smiling all the time must be completely nuts!" I might be pretty close to completely nuts but I still know that you are the best even when you are having a hard time. I'm glad you are humble and open enough to let people know that you are a human. Most peoples' blogs are too impersonal and even when they do comment about their "real" never hear about their misgivings or inadequacies. I'm not saying that everyone should just spew their personal life guts out for the world to misunderstand; but, it is refreshing to read a little bit of what a person going through this insanely difficult world really feels inside. This is way to long to be considered just a comment. I love you, babe. Now write something happy.:)

giraffe said...

Hey friend,
Very soon Kelly and I will be up there at the cabin all up in your personal space, smoking crack and fighting with each other and then you won't be alone. I also am sorry to hear about the mouse event...but nature is a very random and "cruel" force...mostly random. If I had more gas money I would come visit the chillens more often. maybe i will drop by tomorrow.